


And the Daybreak Brings On Panic Attacks

by Witherstone



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Drama, Everything Hurts, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28921416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witherstone/pseuds/Witherstone
Summary: S6, set between 'Doublemeat Palace' and 'Dead Things'. When she finally fell asleep at his place, it wasn't peaceful.Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers
Kudos: 7





	And the Daybreak Brings On Panic Attacks

Spike's crypt was dark and silent, most of the candles already burned out. He and Buffy have been going at it for hours now, and close to sunrise, she fell asleep on his bed, first time ever. He kept still, not wanting to rouse her, amazed that she finally gave up, weariness overwhelming her.

She was only under for a moment before the nightmares started. Her body shook, breaths short and shallow. Spike was about to touch her when she woke up with a loud gasp, eyes wide and empty. She kept hyperventilating, looking around frantically, pressing the covers to her naked body.

"Buffy-"

She didn't see him, didn't hear, stuck in the nightmare. Before he could react, she howled, sound dreadful in the dark cave, and ran from the bed, crouching in a corner with the sheets draped over her head. She was trembling, thick material muffling hysterical sobs, as she seemed to ignore everything around.

Spike watched her for a moment before standing up slowly. He saw that before, been through it with Dru; raging panic attacks that could render her helpless for hours, numb to the world, absent. Sometimes silent and catatonic, otherwise violent, self-mutilating, with ear-splitting shrieks. There was no way to stop it from the outside - he tried many times and only got injured in the process, prolonging her suffering.

He used to think it was during those hours that Drusilla was most lucid. Remembering her own torment, experiencing it with a sober mind, the slow process of Angelus breaking her down. It was enough to turn any person insane, and so he watched the woman he loved most collapse into madness over and over again, and he stood terrified, powerless against her demons.

It was similar enough now as Buffy didn't react to his soft words, didn't acknowledge him at all. The pain had to pass on its own, so he placed a tall glass of water near her cocoon of internal struggle and headed upstairs to read, monitoring for any sounds coming from the cave.

It took about an hour before he heard shuffling from his bedroom and she emerged shortly after, fully dressed and frazzled. The attack tired her out, face red and puffy from sobs. She sat stiffly in a chair near him, still disconnected, trying to make sense of the situation. Spike looked up at her and waited.

"What time is it?", she asked slowly, staring at the floor. He wanted to ask her to stay, to let him comfort her, carry her back to bed, talk it out until life returned to her eyes.

"Half to five maybe", he replied, leaning down in the chair. He rested his elbows on his knees, pale hands hanging just there, so close to hers. Not like she would ever touch him this way, already mortified by her unexpected show of vulnerability.

"I need to get back." He stood up with her and lightly grabbed her forearms in an awkward half-stance. Worst case scenario, another undeserved beating, but he could take it.

"Spike", tired warning in her voice. He pulled her in slightly, broken bones be damned, and surprisingly she gave in, took a small step forward and put her head on his chest. She took a deep breath and let him hug her for a minute, fresh out of tears.

"I don't know what happened", she whispered, throat still sore from weeping. "I don't know how long..."

"It was a dream", he said calmly, pressing his lips to the top of her head. "Just tell people you got possessed by a demon."

"I'm not telling anyone about that." Of course. She sniffled and moved away, grabbing her things. "Goodnight."

"'Night." It got bright outside and Spike moved away from the light when she was shutting down his door. He found half a bottle of whisky under the couch and took it with him downstairs, lighting a cigarette on the way. He chuckled seeing that the Slayer made his bed, pillows all fluffed up and the quilt evenly pressed down. He found her empty glass on the nightstand and poured himself a drink.


End file.
